The Fruit of the Spirit--Self Control!

The importance of using self control for patience 

Ever wonder why your willpower fails you just when you need it most? The results of a new long-term study, which first began more than 40 years ago with the now-famous marshmallow test in preschoolers, may offer some clues.

In the late 1960s, researchers submitted hundreds of four-year-olds to an ingenious little test of willpower: the kids were placed in a small room with a marshmallow or other tempting food and told they could either eat the treat now, or, if they could hold out for another 15 minutes until the researcher returned, they could have two.

Most children said they would wait. But some failed to resist the pull of temptation for even a minute. Many others struggled a little longer before eventually giving in. The most successful participants figured out how to distract themselves from the treat's seduction — by turning around, covering their eyes or kicking the desk, for instance — and delayed gratification for the full 15 minutes.

Follow-up studies on these preschoolers found that those who were able to wait the 15 minutes were significantly less likely to have problems with behavior, drug addiction or obesity by the time they were in high school, compared with kids who gobbled the snack in less than a minute. The gratification-delayers also scored an average of 210 points higher on the SAT.

Conversely, research has found support that self-control can be improved through “exercising” it. For example, by maintaining proper posture, by performing everyday activities such as opening doors and brushing teeth with the less dexterous hand, and by adhering to a schedule of regular physical exercise, over time, general self-control can be improved.

First, the ability to estimate time allows people to make decisions based not only on immediate outcomes, but on future outcomes too. Second, the ability to direct attention away from certain events permits people to evaluate the situation at hand more thoroughly, and ultimately to make better decisions. These two perceptual abilities – the ability to estimate time and the ability to direct attention away from events – can explain why (clinically healthy) adults have more self-control than children.

Self control and the quality of life 

Reviews concluded that self control is correlated with various positive life outcomes, such as happiness, adjustment and various positive psychological factors.

The Fruit of the Spirit--Gentleness!

Gentleness means recognizing that the world around us is fragile, especially other people. It is recognizing our own capacity to do harm and choosing instead to be tender, soft-spoken, soft-hearted, and careful. When we are gentle we touch the world in ways that protect and preserve it.

Being gentle doesn't mean being weak; gentleness can be firm, even powerful. To behave in a gentle manner requires that we stay centered in our own values and strength -- that we are active rather than reactive. Coming from this center, a gentle word or touch can channel our energy into healing or making peace.

The North Wind and the Sun

The North Wind boasted of great strength. The Sun argued that there was great power in gentleness.

"We shall have a contest," said the Sun.

Far below, a man traveled a winding road. He was wearing a warm winter coat.

"As a test of strength," said the Sun, "Let us see which of us can take the coat off of that man."

"It will be quite simple for me to force him to remove his coat," bragged the Wind.

The Wind blew so hard, the birds clung to the trees. The world was filled with dust and leaves. But the harder the wind blew down the road, the tighter the shivering man clung to his coat. Then, the Sun came out from behind a cloud. Sun warmed the air and the frosty ground. The man on the road unbuttoned his coat. The sun grew slowly brighter and brighter. Soon the man felt so hot, he took off his coat and sat down in a shady spot.

"How did you do that?" said the Wind.

"It was easy," said the Sun, "I lit the day. Through gentleness I got my way."

Things I'm Thankful For...

After a month of reading what others were thankful for almost daily via Facebook, I decided to wait until the end of the month to share what I am thankful for. So here it goes:

Most importantly I am thankful for:

My pride & joy, my #1 sidekick, my mini me, my miracle, heart and soul, my son Austin!

My family…God gave me a wonderful mom & dad, a second dad who amazingly stepped up and took care of 3 girls even during the hardest time of our lives when our dad passed away, I have two fabulous sisters and best friends, a great brother, and nieces & nephews I love beyond measure. 

My faithful, true, like-minded friends…as I get older, I find that I have fewer and fewer of them. It’s not like I don’t have friends, it’s more like I am surrounding myself with these real ones more now than ever before.

Thankful for what I’ve been able to do & accomplish:

     

See a miracle….the birth of my son Austin was the day I saw the miracle of life be born. Realizing I played a part in making him and able to deliver him safely & hold him in my arms is my greatest accomplishment.

Form a relationship with my dad before he passed away. I was 11 when he died and for a few years while being very young I never wanted to go and spend time with him when it was our weekend over there. I can remember the nights I cried and wanted to go back to my moms & when I think back about those times I wish I had realized how wonderful he was sooner. Thankful that before he passed, I did finally realize just how much he loved his girls and would do anything for us and that it wasn’t too late.

Go on multiple mission trips: 2 trips to Arizona to help build a new school for the Navajo Indians and a trip to Honduras to help build onto a clinic, school, and church located on a mountain top. Experiencing these trips changed me from within. They made me more thankful for the things I have more than anything or anybody has ever done or will do.

Live life outside of Indiana: while my stay wasn’t as long as I had hoped for, living in another state & on water made me realize how much I missed Indiana. Indiana is full of beauty year round and you don’t see that kind of change & beauty down south.

Do crazy stuff: I’ve been white water rafting, bungee jumping, rode tons of roller coasters, experienced tons of concerts, traveled to places such as the Bahamas, Maine, and Niagra Falls on day trips by myself when I worked for ATA, had my share of piercings and experienced my share of raves.

I’m thankful for things about me:

For being a loving, loyal, trusting friend, sister and daughter…I’m hardly perfect but it’s good to know in my heart that I’m a kind person. I’d never intentionally hurt anyone, I don’t believe in being mean, I hate to see anyone cry, and love to see people smile. I may be a bit shy sometimes and not the best at socializing, but I genuinely appreciate and care about people and always wanting to help those I can. 

Having the talent to create art…it may not be the next Picasso or Van Gogh but its art that I love. Love that I can create it through paint, ceramics, wood burning, ink, chalk, lead, film, video, words, ect… There is no limit and when I find the need to express myself I tend to create a painting, write a poem, make a video to a favorite song, or pick up a camera. 

Being a go-to-girl…thankful that people are able to come to me for advice even if it is for the simplest things of how to do or find something on Facebook. People trust me with some of their innermost thoughts and feelings and I’m glad they know they can trust me and come to me for advice or a shoulder to cry on.

I’m thankful for the past:

For my past relationships….they have made me a stronger person and made me learn more about who I am and how worthy I am of having true love one day. I've had my share of good times & bad times and they all played a role in shaping me into the person I am today. 

Having a teacher who gave me an F on a poem I wrote for an assignment one day in class. He told me it was awful and that I should not be writing poetry. I wanted to prove him wrong so I entered it into a contest where it was chosen, published in a book of poems, chosen to be one of 35 poems to be read aloud& recorded to an audible poetry cd, as well as received Editors choice that year. I ended up having 4 more poems published, the opportunity to publish my own book one day, and I still to this day write poetry thinking about how I was once told how bad at it I was. 

Not always chosen first and sometimes picked last….in some way that shaped me into being a better person. I learned that not everybody is going to like me or want me and that’s okay. I learned to give everybody a chance & not judge them based on things such as appearance. I graduated school feeling as though I was never part of any particular group of friends but rather a friend to everyone. If you were nice to me, I was nice to you and those who didn't like me, well didn’t like me—their loss!

Miscellaneous things I’m thankful for:

Being an American, coffee, chocolate, fresh fruit, a warm bed to sleep in, listening to my child’s laughter and seeing his smiles, flowers, a good novel, another chance at college, air conditioning on a hot day and a warm fire on a cold night, dishwashers, true friends, a good book, nights staring up at the stars, ice cream, red wine, good conversations and silent conversations, swinging on a swing and sliding down a slide, hugs and kisses, hearing someone tell me they love me, being told I’m missed by someone, a hot shower or bath, live music, rainbows following a storm, lazy days, sunrises and sunsets, pizza and a movie nights, family & friends who accept me despite my flaws, a nice long stretch after waking up, music, the sound of the rain on the roof or outside my bedroom window, camping outside, s’mores, seeing wildlife while driving or out on a walk, invitations even if I can’t accept and make it to the event, teachers, digital cameras, great neighbors, the kindness of strangers, aquariums and zoos, farmer markets, pumpkin patches and orchards, growing up out in the country, memories, photographs, keeping old notes, my first love even if I was only in 8^th grade and it was only a few months long, struggles I face, getting my dad’s eyes, being smart, knowing it’s okay to be wrong, the beauty of fresh fallen snow, the little things in life, wildflowers and the beauty of their innocence,  campfire chats, drunken nights, being sensitive, Facebook and how it has brought family and friends back into my life, movies that make me laugh until I cry, cuddling with my son, laughing at inside jokes, my favorite tv shows, sleeping in, tumblr, songs that bring back memories, sushi, having the heart to give the homeless a dollar or a cup of coffee, knowing that I am not better than anybody else—I’m simply just me, having all 5 senses and somewhat good health, knowing sadness, happiness, fear, doubt, and pain, having a roof over my head, my enemies, my faith, God’s grace, reunions, picnics, choosing to forgive, being able to post notes for Operation Beautiful,  my freedom, the troops that serve for the Country I live in, the choices I've made and the mistakes as well, the joy and peace in my heart, knowing I’m on the right path and will make it to my destination one day, blogs, the moments where you realize you’re glad you chose to avoid responsibility one day and make memories instead, random text messages, not giving up on the ones I love, knowing what it’s like to struggle with my weight so I don’t judge others who are in the same boat, days where I act like a kid again, all-nighters, memories of fishing with my dad, not caring if my house isn't perfectly clean bc I know it’s perfectly lived in, and rambling on and on about things I’m thankful for while thinking nobody is actually going to read this so if you still are then know I'm thankful for you!

25 Truths!

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.


I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.


How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.


Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.


I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired!


You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.


Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I haven’t even switched over to the Blu-ray due to my already huge collection of dvd’s.


I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page report that I swear I did not make any changes to.


“Do not machine wash or tumble dy” means I will never wash this – ever!


I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?


I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.


I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.


I think the freezer deserves a light as well.


I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.


Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.


I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.


I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?


I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!


Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?


There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

Ever notice that when you wear a watch, there are times where you may look down at it multiple times and still not know what time it is?


Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my a** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

The Fruit of the Spirit--Faithfulness!

May all your Prayers be answered.

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island. 

The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. 

However, to determine whose prayers should be most effective, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island. 

The first thing they prayed for was food. 

The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren. 

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the island, there was nothing. 

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing. 

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island and boarded the ship with his wife. 

Since none of the other man’s prayers had been answered, he considered him unworthy to receive God's blessings, so he decided to leave the second man on the island. 

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?" 

"My blessings are a result of my faith and prayers, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered and so I figured he does not deserve anything." 

"You are sorely mistaken, and are in great debt to him.” 

“How’s that?” the first man asked. 

”It was his great faith that invoked the blessings, and he prayed that all your prayers might be answered." 

Is Your Hut Burning?

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and in which to store his few possessions. 

But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried. Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. 

The weary man asked his rescuers: "How did you know I was here?" 

They replied: "We saw your smoke signal." 

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. 

The Fruit of the Spirit--Goodness!

The Smile

Author: Chris Gregory

Recently I was put in a nursing home to recover from a critically ill ailment. For the first time in my life I was totally dependent on others. I just lay there in the bed being pumped with antibiotics and fluids. It gave me a lot of time to reflect and slowly I become aware of my surroundings.

Over the course of a few days I started to really appreciate the housekeeper. She was an elderly lady who didn’t speak English. Every morning at 6:30 she would try to sneak into my room quietly so she wouldn’t disturb me. However, on every occasion I would awake and see her. She would try to apologize and at the same time gave this amazing smile. It got that I would be just waiting to see her come in and give that wonderful smile.

I found out from one of the nurses that there was an employee rewards program. I asked the nurse to write an appreciation card for my housekeeper.

I wrote: “Thank you for your incredible smile every morning. It fills the room with happiness and makes every day worth living.”

When the nurse put the card up another nurse came into my room about ten minutes later and asked if I had written that card for the housekeeper. I said yes and asked if it was okay.

The nurse said that I had to know that the housekeeper was out in the hall crying her eyes out.

Had I done something wrong or inappropriate? Then the nurse went on to tell me that the housekeeper had worked there for thirty years and had never received a rewards card.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. Just a few simple words made such a difference. It was beautiful! If you think she smiled before you should have seen her the next day.

From that day forward I tried to recognize someone every day for the good things they showed. The results were amazing. People came in with smiles, they talked more, they laughed more, they enjoyed life more.

The side effects were astounding. It seems the more I tried to recognize others the better I got.

I’m out of the nursing home now and almost fully recovered.

I thank my housekeeper for helping me see just how incredibly beautiful life is.

Do yourself a favor and tell your loved ones just how much they mean to you. It can make the world of difference with both them and you.

I really wish people would begin to see things more clearly, then perhaps they could see within themselves the goodness they harbor deep inside. It sits silently, just waiting for us to use it and then when the time comes that we need something, out pours that goodness that had been bottled up. I know most of you know what I'm talking about, you do something good in hopes of recognition or a return favor. Sound familiar? Thinking back to the kindness post, goodness goes right along with it. Without one you can't have the other, yet most of us have forgotten that. Doing things out of the goodness of our hearts can be quite hard for most. Yet, like most things that are hard in the beginning, it does become easier over time and more satisfying. I read somewhere that the average human being only uses a small percentage of their lung capacity. Just like our lungs, most people only use a small percentage of their capacity for goodness each day. Then, in times of need we use more as a survival mechanism. Being good and doing good things should become a daily habit and part of living a happy lifestyle. Plus, goodness can be contagious, so go spread some!

Take a minute to check this article out & see how you can begin to use more of your capacity of goodness each day. It is about the concept of having a "Small Act of Goodness website, that sends an e-mail each morning to subscribers, giving them a small, fun task to implement, which will make people smile"! While there is no actual website there is a link to a facebook page that was started & posts a weekly challenge. There is also a page on tumblr that talks about sharing smiles! Worth checking out both of those links which can be found after clicking this one:
 Small Act of Goodness!
*You may also want to skim through the comments on there for links to various sites that people have posted!

If that doesn't peak your interest perhaps becoming a part of Operation Beautiful might help. It's something I find personally fulfilling and I love leaving notes in random places now!
Operation Beautiful!