Friday, January 20, 2012


The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That's the only lasting thing you can create.- Chuck Palahniuk

Build a masterpiece 
History starts now.

The only decision left is the one I need to make with myself, to stop running once and for all. I mean, I know who I'm supposed to be, I've always known. But, then the fear takes over: the free floating, anxiety ridden fear in the pit of my stomach that makes me run. 

You don’t have to be perfect to belong in this place. 
You don’t have to have all the answers, or always know the right thing to say. 
You can climb the highest mountain, if you want. 
Or quietly imagine that you might, someday. 
You can take chances, or take safety nets, make miracles or make mistakes. 
You don’t have to be composed at all hours to be strong here. 
You don’t have to be bold or certain to be brave.

You don’t have to have all the answers here, or even know who you want to be.

This is to the nights when you dealt with more drama than you wanted to, because you're a nice person. To the nights that you 
drank too much and made mistakes that no one forgets for months and months. This is to the nights that you hooked up with that guy, feeling used and alone after. To the nights you would've rather stayed home, watching movies but instead got dressed up in clothes that weren't as comfortable as sweatpants, went to that party you didn't really want to be at, to find the boy you like there with some other girl. To the nights that you can't wait until everybody grows up, because you're tired of them all judging you. To those nights that came too soon.

I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

We will always want something more than what we've got. But face it, whatever happens, happens. And whatever we are given, we need to hold onto that with all of our might. Because that's it. That's what we were given, what we've been trusted in to keep, to treasure, to take care of and to love with all of our hearts. We need to appreciate every little thing we've got because, well, it's all we've got. It's okay to dream, but first you need to treasure reality in all its beauty.

Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s 
kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. Attention 
is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager. 
-Susan Sontag

I wish someone would tell me something incredibly profound. I wish my heart would beat beat beat in time with theirs and things I want to say wouldn't get caught in my throat like my hair gets caught in my fingers and ties itself into knots. I wish the voice in my head didn’t say the things it does, because of all the people I can trust in the world I shouldn't be one of them. That's why I listen to music louder than the sounds of the late-night television programs like poker competitions and bad films starring bad actors. And in the middle of the cacophony of sounds the only thoughts I can hear are the singer's, the whisperer's, the poet's, infinitely better and wiser. Wiser even than the stars. I bet they don't trust themselves either. I bet lots of people don't when they've fallen down the rabbit hole and felt a heartbreak or three. Boys didn't break my heart you know, I did. I break it all the time. I'm breaking it right now and I don't even know why.

I believe that we are who we choose to be. 
Nobody's going to come and save you, you've got 
to save yourself.

We learn to deal with things our own way. A lot of the time people want to help, but when they try to, it just makes the whole thing more upsetting cause then you realize you can't be helped. Maybe you're trapped in this mess, and all you need to do is just take a step away from the situation, and look at it from the outside in, and realize, 'Hey, this is my life - take it or leave it.' 

The only dream worth having is to dream that you will live while you are alive, and die only when you are dead. To love, to be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of the life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.— Arundhati Roy 

"It’s laughing with your friend at a time when you shouldn’t.
It’s the sweat in your palms wanting to know someone you see
and the pit in your stomach when they actually see you.
It’s being touched by hands that aren't your own.
It’s the thrill of an escape that almost wasn't.
It’s the embarrassment you feel, naked for the first time.
It’s helping a friend find something they lost.
It’s a smile, a joke, a song. 
It’s what someone does that they like doing.
It’s what someone does that they like remembering. 
It’s the thinking of things you may never do 
and the doing of things you may never have thought.
It’s the road ahead and the road behind. 
It’s the first step and the last and every one in between, 
because they all make up the good life." 
-The Good Life.

"Are there not little chapters in everybody's life, 
that seem to be nothing, and yet affect all the rest of the history?" 

After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul 
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security. 
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. 
You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead 
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child. 
And you learn to build your roads today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans 
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine 
burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul 
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. 
And you learn that you really can endure, 
that you really are strong, 
and you really do have worth, 
and you learn. 
-Veronica A. Shoffstall

I would love to meet people that have their mind straight and don't bring any 
problems into my life. I want to meet more people that think about the same 
things as I do. Most of all I want to meet more people with good hearts and 
good brains.

Passion. it lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting. and though unwanted, unbidden it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. it speaks to us, guides us. passion rules us all, and we obey. what other choice do we have? passion is the source of our finest moments. the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. it hurts, sometimes more than we can bear. if we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. but we would be hollow. empty rooms, shuttered and dank. without passion, we'd be truly dead.

We have been to the moon, 
we have charted the depths of the ocean and the 
heart of the atom, but we have a 
fear of looking inward to ourselves because 
we sense that is where 
all the contradictions flow together.

Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there.

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good 
madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who 
thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art-- write 
or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere 
in the next year, you surprise yourself. 

"We're all strangers connected by what we reveal, what we share, what we take away--our stories. I guess that's what I love about books--they are thin strands of humanity that tether us to one another for a small bit of time, that make us feel less alone or even more comfortable with our aloneness, if need be."

A hug can turn your day around.
It's like an emotional heimlich.
Someone puts their arms around you,
And they give you a slight squeeze.
And all of your fear and anxiety comes
Shooting out of your mouth.
And you can finally breathe again. 

No comments:

Post a Comment